I don’t want to parent today.

From the obscene wake up calls, mixed in with the already interrupted sleep,
I don’t want to parent today.

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I don’t want to roll out of my oh-so-warm bed to attend to the daily ongoings of being a parent, which starts with a very loud crying baby.

I don’t want to make sandwiches for the lunches today, or lay out the uniforms out ready for the day. I don’t want to change the baby out of the clean clothes I just put him in, because regardless of a bib, he’s still managed to smear porridge into the back of his top and down his trousers.

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I don’t want to step out into the cold and do the school run with an overtired, screaming baby. Not to mention the fact we’re now running late because he decided to do a poo and take his shoes and coat off as I was putting mine on. I don’t want to then have to walk home with even more stares from other parents and mentally have to explain that my child didn’t want to sleep last night and now we’re all paying for it. I don’t want to have to make a bottle to calm him down – for him to then NOT go for a much needed nap. I don’t want to sit there and pretend to be excited and interested in baby play or to pick  up the balls for the ball pit 10x over, and listen to the same half-a-song from the bloody musical toys I so lovingly asked for at Christmas time. I don’t want to watch my baby fall over hundreds of times because his balance is still rubbish and worry that this time he’s really hurt himself.

I don’t want to have to repeat myself over and over; “No, Don’t touch the bin it’s dirty. I said no.”, “Leave the cat alone. Play nicely!”, “No, don’t play with that.”, “No, stop pulling out my clean washing onto the floor.”, “Stop throwing things out of the pushchair.” Or answer the hundreds of questions children so innocently ask; “Mummy, how do eyes work?”, “Mummy, why is it snowing?”, “Mummy, How can it be Winter here and Summer in Australia?”, “Mummy…Mummy…Mummy…” Mummy doesn’t know, nor to be honest, do I care today.

I don’t want to think about what’s for dinner, let alone prepare it and cook it. What’s even in the cupboards? I didn’t have time to check this morning, and I really can’t be bothered to be wonder-cook, so I’m sorry kids but it’s chicken nuggets, chips and beans tonight.

I don’t want to play pretend in the bath, drinking pretend cups of chocolate milkshakes or being a mermaid princess. I don’t want to sing songs and retell a hundred fairy tale stories.

I don’t want to parent today.

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But, after all that, I look at my kids when they’re all tucked up asleep in bed, and the day just melts away. This is why we do it. They are why we persevere through the shittiest of days. It’s not easy, and in no way is it my kids fault for how I was feeling. From day one I knew what I was getting into, and whilst days like this are few and far between, it’s okay to have a day where you just don’t want to. After all, we’re only human. It’s a full on and demanding job to be a parent, and sometimes you feel like you’re in over your head; you’re sinking rather than swimming. But that’s okay. These feelings won’t last forever, your kids won’t be this young forever. So I kept telling myself to just get on with it, smile through the gritted teeth and frustration. Just get today out of the way, tomorrow is a new day.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Becky xo

The Diary of an 'Ordinary' Mum
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

32 Comments

  1. February 13, 2017 / 10:13 am

    It’s definitely not easy, but as you say they make it all worth it #bigpinklink

    • February 13, 2017 / 10:29 am

      Definitely, they aren’t little for long! thanks for stopping by! x

  2. February 13, 2017 / 10:23 am

    Ah this is lovely. I’ve felt like this once or twice but I’m only 3 months in! Now and then I would love my baby to be able to look after himself so I can lounge on the sofa, but I wonder if I’d actually be bored now if that was how I spent my day! #bigpinklink

    • February 13, 2017 / 10:31 am

      Thank you for stopping by 🙂 I totally get that! I do think us mums need to find a balance and grab some “me time” – even if it’s just an uninterrupted bath! – I agree, I reckon I’d be bored out of my mind without the kids now! x

  3. February 13, 2017 / 12:04 pm

    Haha! Such a funny post! I feel like this most days! It’s like in the mornings I can’t wait for my toddler to get up and when she does she just runs around terrorising me and destoring the house and I lose my sanity.. haha!! #bigpinklink

    • February 13, 2017 / 12:08 pm

      Thanks for stopping by! I look forward to nap time that’s for sure! glad you liked it! haha, toddlers are great fun aren’t they? x

  4. aimz18
    February 14, 2017 / 1:34 pm

    Mummy…mummy…mummy…it is constant isn’t it!? But I agree, every bedtime you look at them tucked up and just think “God I love you guys” x
    #KCACOLS

    • February 14, 2017 / 2:12 pm

      Thanks for stopping by! Yes it definitely is constant! and now my 1y/o can pronounce it very clearly, so I get “mumumumum/dadadadada” all. day. It’s cute to start with haha. x

  5. February 14, 2017 / 4:38 pm

    Absolutely! There’s been lots of days i don’t want to parent and long for a day off. Yet when I do get a rare night off or few hours, I just don’t know what to do with myself! #KCACOLS

    • February 14, 2017 / 5:34 pm

      Thanks for stopping by! – It’s funny isn’t it, they literally run our lives and we’re clueless when they’re not there! Sometimes that break of doing nothing can be exactly what we need, just to recharge! x

  6. February 15, 2017 / 8:54 am

    Oh yes, there are many days when I feel like this – especially when I have had a LONG night. With the tired days, comes the good days as well, the days when I want to play Lego and when everyone co-operates in the morning…ah, we live for the good days! Thanks for linking with #bigpinklink

    • February 15, 2017 / 9:43 am

      Thanks for stopping by! – Yep we sure do! thankfully the good days outnumber the bad! 🙂 x

  7. February 16, 2017 / 12:06 pm

    Any parent who says they don’t feel like this from time to time is lying! Parenting is a tough job, sometimes it’s hard to motivate yourself and get going. It’s a good job their worth it!! Great post! #KCACOLS

    • February 16, 2017 / 1:01 pm

      Thanks for stopping by! I totally agree haha, I’ve had countless people tell me they feel like this at times, makes you feel a bit better for it lol! 100% worth it 🙂 x

  8. February 16, 2017 / 8:23 pm

    I’ve had days like that. hell i had days like that before I had a kid lol #kcacols

  9. February 16, 2017 / 9:28 pm

    I’d do anything for a parenting free day, or hour but I like you seem to forget when they are asleep. Although my daughter has suddenly stopped sleeping and I have a newborn baby so for now parenting is really 24/7 ahhhh x #KCACOLS

    • February 17, 2017 / 11:42 am

      oh no bless you! hopefully it’s just a phase and you can get some routine back into place! you got this! 😀 thanks for stopping by! x

  10. February 16, 2017 / 10:58 pm

    Oh, I feel like this most days. I am really lazy so some days the thought of having to parent properly makes me want to to cry. Especially when my daughter decides that actually she doesn’t want ot get up or get ready for school and we have 20 minutes before we need to leave and I’m all but crying in my now cold coffee! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    • February 17, 2017 / 11:43 am

      Thanks for stopping by! 🙂 haha I’m lazy too (glad I’m not the only one!) the school runs are the worst when they don’t play ball aren’t they?! You do a little victory dance when you get there and they go into class haha!

  11. February 16, 2017 / 11:06 pm

    We all have good days and bad days andlikw you say tomorrow is most definitely a new day. Parenting is bloody hard but it can be so rewarding too! Their giggles, the way they are super proud to show you new things they’ve learnt and the best part for me? Their cuddles! #KCACOLS

    • February 17, 2017 / 11:45 am

      Can’t beat a good cuddle with your little ones! Especially with a good movie or book and a blanket 😀 I’ve currently got a wall full of pictures and letters “mummy I love you” plastered across my kitchen, definitely puts a smile on my face on days like these! thanks for stopping by! x

  12. makinghermama
    February 17, 2017 / 5:37 am

    This was me two days ago!!! Baby was up from midnight
    Until 1:30. I managed to get him back to sleep just in time for the toddler to wake up crying from a bad dream and he awoke on and off from 1:30-3:30. But instead of having a crazy day we called off all the things we needed to do and had a fun day instead! And it worked!!! We got through, the house got cleaned, we had a good day, we avoided massive breakdowns from the 3 family members who were exhausted!!! No scary mommy today 😜 Thanks for sharing!!! You are not alone in this!!! #KCACOLS

    • February 17, 2017 / 11:46 am

      Thanks for your comment! Isn’t it frustrating when one wakes up just after you’ve put the other down?? Good on you for cancelling everything and having a fun day! Sometimes we all need to just stop what we’re doing and realise life isn’t all about being in the fast lane! x

  13. February 18, 2017 / 12:26 am

    Yes, I could have written this this morning… the frustration is real but they are such perfect little beings (when they are asleep of course)! #KCACOLS

    • February 18, 2017 / 10:12 am

      Thanks for stopping by! – haha yes, their sweet little sleepy faces are the cutest! We’ve got this though, tomorrow is another day! x

  14. The Mothership
    February 22, 2017 / 5:56 am

    Absolutely loved reading this! I only have an almost 1 year old and I am experiencimg most of this on a daily basis at the moment! I agree though it’s all worth it when they are peacefully sleeping 😍😍

    • February 22, 2017 / 9:09 am

      Thanks for stopping by! – It’s tough, but we’re tougher! Just have to remind ourselves it’s (hopefully) not forever! x

  15. May 6, 2017 / 10:00 am

    This is so true! It can, and always will be difficult but we do it because deep down, we love doing it; even if it means getting out of our lovely warm beds!

    • May 6, 2017 / 10:31 am

      aha yes, definitely 🙂 the good days outweigh the bad! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

      • May 6, 2017 / 10:39 am

        No problem. Thanks for subscribing to my blog too!

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