Is there a right time to have a baby?

It’s a beautiful thing to create a family, the moment you hold your baby for the first time is a moment that is never lost on you. The amazement of 9 months of growing a mini-you and being able to hold them is priceless. So how do you know if you’re ready to start this journey?

There are many out there who wait for “the right time” or wait until “things are in place” and here are a few questions I’ve heard people asking:

  1.  Finance. Do you have the money to raise a child? Will you have enough to live and provide? Now we all know that babies aren’t cheap. They are a money drain for the next 18 years of your life. Clothes, carseats, toys, bedding, food…the list is endless, but it doesn’t have to be expensive or top-of-the-range stuff! Many now try their luck at selling their unwanted/no longer needed items online, or at carboot sales, or maybe you’ll have friends who can pass things down to you. Either way, yes children are expensive in the long run, it just depends if you’re willing to sacrifice your current luxuries, and whether your wage will stretch to pay the bills and provide for the family.
  2. Housing. Is where you’re living an appropriate place to raise a baby? Are you where you want to be? Is there space? It’s not easy to save money for a house whilst raising a baby (it’s doable, depending on your wage again I guess), but realistically, it would benefit to be in the right accommodation you’re wanting before bringing a baby into the mix.
  3. Childcare. Will you be able to afford childcare if you have to return to work? There are government funding schemes for children aged 2-4 to get free nursery hours (in the UK), but is 2 years too old for you? Will you have to return to work before then? Childcare costs aren’t cheap, and I’ve seen many parents having to leave work to take care of their children at home simply because they cannot afford to work and pay childcare.
  4. Going back to work. Will you go back part time/full time? Once your child is here, as a parent it can be hard to leave them. Are you prepared to go back to working 30-40hrs a week and missing some of your baby’s milestones?
  5. Time Limit. Is your biological clock ticking? We know there is an “optimal” time to have children, it’s usually between the ages of 20-35 (give or take!) so for us ladies we only really have 15 years…Although it has been known for older ladies to conceive too! Go Mamas! Kudos to you all!
  6. Are you ready? Probably one of the biggest questions out of all of them. Are you mentally and physically ready to start/expand a family? Is your relationship stable enough to go through the hormonal changes and share the love with another human being? Are you prepared for the reality that babies aren’t always just beautiful little smushy cute things, and that sometimes they make you want to cry in a corner and pull your hair out?

And then, forget about all of these questions. Or at least don’t let them define when the best time to have a baby is. There is no “right time.” If both you and your partner are emotionally ready, and have agreed this is what you want, go for it. Don’t let anyone stop you. You will never tick all of these boxes at once, perhaps over time you will, but in todays world certainly not as a young couple! For some, being a parent is all they want from life, and that’s fine. “But you haven’t lived your life yet!” So? Having children early allows for those who “haven’t lived” to still be able to do things they want to, just later in life! Your life is exactly that, yours. No one can tell you how to live it, so if you want to have a baby; go for it. (provided it’s not just on a whim and you have at least considered the next 18 years!)

Becky x

This Post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

29 Comments

  1. July 31, 2017 / 11:24 am

    I think there is an ‘ideal’ time to have a baby, but sometimes it just happens. I was very young when I had my first child and I am so happy that I did! 😙

    • July 31, 2017 / 11:32 am

      Yeah, I don’t think it’s for anyone to judge or comment on when you have a baby – but I think the ‘ideal’ time is when you’re ready in yourself 🙂

  2. Mummy Cat
    July 31, 2017 / 11:28 am

    I honestly dont know if there is a right time to have a child, my first was an accident, we didnt have enough money to support him but we managed, then my second was planned, we had the money so we decided to have another one.. and my third was an accident, money is always tight.. we had talked about ttc for ages but she just happened… the right time is whenever it happens i guess haha

    • July 31, 2017 / 11:34 am

      No, you’ll never have enough money or the “perfect situation” – but you make it work don’t you! I think if we all waited until we were rich there’d be like 50 babies in the world (slight exaggeration.. aha but you get what I mean!) x

      • Mummy Cat
        July 31, 2017 / 3:13 pm

        If we had all the money in the world we would be appearing on 16 kids and counting haha

  3. July 31, 2017 / 12:33 pm

    I don’t think there ever is a right time. I personally don’t have a baby and I don’t know if I ever will.

  4. July 31, 2017 / 1:02 pm

    I have to agree I don’t think there is a certain time you should… nothing is ever perfect

  5. July 31, 2017 / 1:45 pm

    I’ve not yet had children, and I’m not planning on having any until I’m at least over 30, if I decide to. But then again, you never know what will happen. Interesting post 🙂

  6. July 31, 2017 / 5:40 pm

    I never think there is a right time. If you wait for everything to be perfect you’ll be waiting a long time. You just need to go with what feels right I think

  7. July 31, 2017 / 5:44 pm

    I completely agree that there is no “right time”. I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever decide I want to have a kid. Love the post! xx

  8. meghannalicee
    July 31, 2017 / 5:58 pm

    totally agree that there’s no “right time” to have a baby. i know for us we’re starting to try next year (at 25) but that’s partly because it takes so much for us to try each time we want a baby 😂 great post!! 😘

  9. July 31, 2017 / 6:59 pm

    I work at a grocery store as a checker and can confirm kids and babies take up A LOT of money! When I get a big order it’s either a party, a restaurant owner, or the average order of a family with kids.

    • August 1, 2017 / 8:32 am

      Yep. There’s so much you need for them – even if you can get it at a decent price, you still need to regularly buy stuff lol!

  10. July 31, 2017 / 10:39 pm

    This was an interesting post! I don’t think there’s a ‘right time’ to have a child.. but then I don’t have any experience in that sort of thing, kids are definitely not on my mind yet. Maybe in 10 years. 😂

    • August 1, 2017 / 9:50 pm

      Oh Adoption would be amazing, I’d seriously consider it – or at least fostering!

      • August 1, 2017 / 9:54 pm

        Due to health complications I don’t have the ability to have children of my own, so it was a long considered and debated decision in our lives as to whether we wanted to remain childless or go about another way to grow our family and adoption was where our conversation has led us!

        • August 1, 2017 / 9:57 pm

          Oh I’m sorry to hear that. (I hope my posts don’t offend or upset you!) If you do ever decide to go down the adoption route I’d love to hear about it 🙂 x

          • August 1, 2017 / 10:05 pm

            They definitely don’t offend me! In my case, it was the result of a battle with Ovarian Cancer – I’m still here, which is more than most women who are diagnosed are blessed with, I just have to take a slightly different route to continue on our journey to grow our family that’s all! 🙂

          • August 1, 2017 / 10:07 pm

            Oh my goodness, what a fight to have! I’m glad you came out the winner! – everyone has their own journey, I’m sure yours will be an exciting one for sure! x

          • August 1, 2017 / 10:34 pm

            Yes we all do! That’s one thing I love about blogging, the chance to connect with so many different stories!

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