Before kids, I had all the time in the world to do the things I wanted to do. Popping to the shops was easy, going to bed was easy, getting dressed and going for a wee was easy and of course eating a hot meal was easy.
Now? Now it’s a half hour round up to get shoes, coats, baby bag, and the kids ready. “Where’s my shoe?” ,”Where’s my coat?” ,”Where’s my train*??” , “I don’t want to go.” “I need a wee/I’ve done a poo.” to name a few scenarios before exiting the door.(*train can be replaced with any other ‘current favourite toy’.) And you spend your time in the shops saying, “not today, we’ll come back and get it another day.” or “come back here! stop running around” and you find yourself sternly muttering low so only they can hear you so as not to be ‘that’ mum who yells at her kids in the supermarket. And you can forget about using the loo by yourself, even the cat wants in on the family meetings that everyone but you knows about!
So…When I received a message from Martin saying, “When you have a moment, can you call me please? it’s nothing to worry about.” – of course I worried! I was straight on the phone asking what’s up, and after a game of 21 questions as to whether I was busy on Friday night (…a mum, busy on a Friday night? hahaha.) he then announced we were going on a date night!
A what? It had been so long since we’d had one, I thought he meant a movie and a Chinese at home. Sure, I said. Sounds great! Then he asked me if my parents would watch the kids, and the penny dropped we were going out. Woohoo! Unfortunately my parents were away but Nanny and Grandad to the rescue! It was only the boys here that evening as Lily was at her mums on the weekend. As it turned out, we were going for a meal with a friend and his girlfriend, and it was a really lovely evening.
I was panicking before we left, as the plan was to get the boys into bed before we headed off as Rubeon won’t settle at bedtime very well with anyone else. So at 6pm I’d bathed them and got them ready for bed, and all was going well. At quarter past six Rubeon fell asleep for a grand total of…1 minute…I’d like to say I’m exaggerating, but he literally woke up and was kicking about and laughing. Talk about a power nap! Usually when this happens, it can take anywhere from 1-3 hours to get him back to sleep, I was worried we’d have to cancel date night because he wouldn’t go to sleep. But as fate would have it, an hour and a half later he finally drifted off, and date night was a go!
Martin and I and the other couple had such a lovely evening, filled with laughter and chatting, and for once I got to be just ‘Becky.’ I didn’t have to faff around with a high chair, cut food into child-friendly pieces, cool down the food, change bums, repeatedly ask the kids to sit down and eat their food etc. I was able to enjoy a (relatively) adult conversation and eat my food hot! Most of all, I got to spend an evening with Martin, away from the usual environment and without distractions such as our phones or games (or kids!). Just the two of us conversing and spending time together. It meant so much to me, and I’m so grateful to Martins parents for baby sitting for us.
I think the best part about date night was the fact I had nothing to do with it! Martin organised it all by himself and it was just a really wonderful evening. Sometimes I get so caught up in being a mummy, I forget to be a partner too. It’s still a work in progress to get the levels right, but I’m trying.